reconciliation

I have many parts of my identity, I am a daughter, a sister, a lover, a teacher, a woman, a girl, a liberal, a feminist, a cradle ELCA member (Evangelical Lutheran Church of America), a "Blue", and many many other things.
Today a large chunk of my identity felt completely invalidated by another part of my identity. A HUGE part of my interpretation of third wave feminism is rights for the LGBT community, so as you can imagine, I was overjoyed when my church, the ELCA, approved the "Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust" social statement and the new "Actions on Ministry Policies" which tries to validate homosexual relationships. However, my joy was, and still is, very much tempered by the reactions that these actions have gotten from my area of the country (South Dakota).
The specific reason I feel so torn is because of my deep love for my church/denomination. It breaks my heart to see them so divided over something like this, that I myself have incredibly firm beliefs on. I value our theology of grace so highly, and I value the unity of our church, and how our differences and variety makes us strong. I honestly can't see myself being anything other than Lutheran. I also can't see myself being anything other than a human rights activist and feminist. And right now, these parts of myself aren't sure how to play nice with each other in the context of this issue and my membership in my home congregation.
I understand that many of our members grew up in a time where this was absolutely not ok, and I can't fault them for the society they grew up in. And I don't know what is going to happen to make them feel "ok" about this all, and if that involves leaving the ELCA, where does that leave my family? Where does that leave my parents, when my father has been an ordained pastor for 20 years, and this is his lifetime career? They can't change now, for one thing, my mom especially has about 5 million pre existing conditions, and they need the ELCA Board of Pensions insurance and pension itself.
Basically, the "equality now" and "unity in the body of Christ and especially the ELCA" are not sure how to function with each other.
See, as a feminist, I guess what I'm supposed to believe is that everyone deserves equality right now, but growing up in the church's politics has made me realize how set in their ways people can be. I feel like a bad feminist for saying this, but I don't think the time was right for these things to take place, in my mind, it was high time, but in the mind of the church as a whole, about 10 more years would have been appreciated. And I feel like it’s arrogant of me to disregard the feelings of the church as a whole, but at the same time I stand firm behind my convictions.
So, I’ve decided I’ve come to the conclusion of “I don’t know.” I think the best thing I can do is vote with my convictions and leave the rest to God tomorrow and in the following weeks and months to come. I just hope that that will be enough.
Grace and Peace
Sarah