I have many parts of my identity, I am a daughter, a sister, a lover, a teacher, a woman, a girl, a liberal, a feminist, a cradle ELCA member (Evangelical Lutheran Church of America), a "Blue", and many many other things.
Today a large chunk of my identity felt completely invalidated by another part of my identity. A HUGE part of my interpretation of third wave feminism is rights for the LGBT community, so as you can imagine, I was overjoyed when my church, the ELCA, approved the "Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust" social statement and the new "Actions on Ministry Policies" which tries to validate homosexual relationships. However, my joy was, and still is, very much tempered by the reactions that these actions have gotten from my area of the country (South Dakota).
The specific reason I feel so torn is because of my deep love for my church/denomination. It breaks my heart to see them so divided over something like this, that I myself have incredibly firm beliefs on. I value our theology of grace so highly, and I value the unity of our church, and how our differences and variety makes us strong. I honestly can't see myself being anything other than Lutheran. I also can't see myself being anything other than a human rights activist and feminist. And right now, these parts of myself aren't sure how to play nice with each other in the context of this issue and my membership in my home congregation.
I understand that many of our members grew up in a time where this was absolutely not ok, and I can't fault them for the society they grew up in. And I don't know what is going to happen to make them feel "ok" about this all, and if that involves leaving the ELCA, where does that leave my family? Where does that leave my parents, when my father has been an ordained pastor for 20 years, and this is his lifetime career? They can't change now, for one thing, my mom especially has about 5 million pre existing conditions, and they need the ELCA Board of Pensions insurance and pension itself.
Basically, the "equality now" and "unity in the body of Christ and especially the ELCA" are not sure how to function with each other.
See, as a feminist, I guess what I'm supposed to believe is that everyone deserves equality right now, but growing up in the church's politics has made me realize how set in their ways people can be. I feel like a bad feminist for saying this, but I don't think the time was right for these things to take place, in my mind, it was high time, but in the mind of the church as a whole, about 10 more years would have been appreciated. And I feel like it’s arrogant of me to disregard the feelings of the church as a whole, but at the same time I stand firm behind my convictions.
So, I’ve decided I’ve come to the conclusion of “I don’t know.” I think the best thing I can do is vote with my convictions and leave the rest to God tomorrow and in the following weeks and months to come. I just hope that that will be enough.
Grace and Peace
Sarah
1 comment:
Sarah, you don't know me but I want to thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings on this SD ELCA situation. I too am a third-wave feminist (and an ELCA pastor), and I empathize with the tough spot you're in, torn between fundamental value systems that appear to conflict with one another.
First of all, the "I don't know" place you end up is a good place to be. None of these issues is entirely settled, and it does little good to take a once-and-for-all stand when you're still waiting on new information.
Secondly, don't worry about being a bad third-wave feminist. The third wave is not about judging and excluding individuals for their own conscience-bound choices, though I daresay it expects folks to inform such choices with community-based social analysis.
Finally, I want to push back against your conclusion that the wider church - "the church as a whole" - is not ready for this change. The current evidence in SD indicates that the church is not ready in SD, but is that the church as a whole? Or do you mean that the church everywhere - every synod, or even congregation? - must be ready before the whole should change? Where could we draw that line?
In many synods and congregations, this official openness is long overdue, and the practical change was very slight: congregations still call the right pastor for their context, with the support of their synod. The only change is that a restriction has been lifted so that congregations are more free to call the right pastor for their context. Just as the wider church in NYC needs no say in who a SD congregation calls as pastor, so the reverse is true.
The vote last year was made by our manifestation of the church as a whole, who prayerfully decided that we were ready to move forward in this conversation. Certainly there will be conscientious resistance by those who disagree, as there should be. As Lutherans we are called to express the unity of the body of Christ even and especially amidst disagreement, seeking the very reconciliation for which you astutely name your post. We focus on the gospel, the heart of God's message of love for us in Jesus Christ, and the rest is what we Lutherans like to call adiaphora, inessential to our Christian life and mission.
Unity does not require uniformity of mind, or of opinion, or of interpretation, or of experience, or of theology. It requires a willingness to recognize Christ in one another, to respond to God's unending love for us in loving service of God and our neighbor. And ultimately the rightness or wrongness of these actions is God's responsibility. We can only do our best to follow God's way for us in this world, knowing we will make mistakes but always relying on God's boundless mercy to see us through.
That's where your post ended up anyway, so maybe you didn't need to hear all this, but I hope it helps you to know there are many others struggling with you, and thankful to be together on this journey.
(Oh, and I'm sorry this got so long and obnoxious. Delete it if you wish.)
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